I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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