we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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