Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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