never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
