real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just made out with a guy for $7.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
