Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
