I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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