Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
