How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
ttyl tear gas
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
