Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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