Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
