Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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