If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
