I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize