I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
