First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
They are going to name an STD after you.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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