we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
