So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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