I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
