Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize