bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
