Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.

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(631): View more from New York

You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu

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(914): View more from New York

End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.

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(515): View more from Iowa

once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.

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(440): View more from Ohio

sarcasm needs its own font

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job

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(905): View more from Ontario

I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving

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(858): View more from California

My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.

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