I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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