I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
