Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
