it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
