I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize