I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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