Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
