I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
