how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
