i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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