the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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