Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
