I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
