just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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