I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
