He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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