I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize