I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
