For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
