Me too!
Quick, to the slutcave!
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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