i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
