Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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