I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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