just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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