is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
