He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
