My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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