i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
