Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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