Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
