Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
