____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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