Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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