What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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