she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
