I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
