i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So many bounce houses so little time
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
