I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
