So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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