as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
