i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize