What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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