oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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