he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
