i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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